Reignite the spark

Couples therapy in San Diego, CA

You and your partner feel like ships passing in the night.

You have found that your ways of managing conflict have not been effective, and have led to feelings of resentment, frustration, and disconnection. Maybe you feel like your partner doesn’t “get” you and you’re feeling unheard and unappreciated. You feel like your partner is pulling away, and yet every attempt you make to connect with them feels like it’s making things worse. You have been avoiding more difficult topics with them because you are worried that it will further push them away. You’re unsure of how to connect with your partner and feel that any attempts made at affection have gone unanswered. You feel like the only time the two of you talk to each other is when you’re arguing.

You are…

Snapping at your partner over things that may have once seemed minor

Feeling lonely in your relationship

Hiding how you’re feeling when your friends and family ask how things are going

Couples therapy can help you and your partner communicate and connect

You will learn to:

Improve awareness of the differences between you and your partner’s way of communicating

Reduce the impact of conflict or disagreements and find helpful alternatives to communicating when they do occur

Improve validation of wants and needs to feel heard and understood

Improve self-awareness of how you each show up in the relationship 

At the end of the day, I want you to know:

Relationships are hard work, but they don’t have to feel impossible

Our work together

How couples therapy can help:

We will work together to identify and build upon your relationship’s strengths, improve ways to communicate with one another, and ensure your attempts at re-connecting after conflict are effective. 

Oftentimes, couples engage in a pattern of communication that leads to conflict, called a negative interaction style. This happens when both partners feel triggered by one another, feel a specific emotion, and then behave according to that emotion. We will work to identify these trigger points, the underlying emotions that occur, and helpful ways to openly communicate when this happens in order to invite one another in instead of push one another away. 

We will focus on attachment styles and how past experiences, upbringing from family, and past relationships may be influencing your internal feelings and worries about your current relationship. 

We will work on building positive interaction, intentional time together, and security into the relationship so that the two of you can feel close, connected, and understanding of one another.

Your relationship is important

Your relationship is important

Questions?

FAQs

  • I have a “no secrets” policy in couples therapy. This means that any information shared with me in a one-on-one session or outside of therapy will be discussed within the couples session. (possible exceptions to this policy will be discussed upon our initial consultation).

  • Couples therapy will start by gathering historical information about you and your partner’s relationship, as well as any relevant personal information that can help me learn about your dynamics as a couple. This will be conducted in individual sessions with each of you, and then we will come back together to continue the assessment as a group. During regular couples sessions, I will help you both communicate effectively with one another through direction and observations. My goal as the therapist is to remain a neutral third-party. I am not here to “take sides” or agree with one partner or the other.

  • Absolutely not! All relationships are different, and I would never judge the specific dynamics of your relationship. If you are looking to work with a therapist who specializes in your specific relationship dynamic, or it is a large factor in your therapy goals, I would be more than happy to discuss this further with you and provide referrals to a specialized therapist if needed.